“He is from a ‘broken family.’” -Church-goer I was pondering this label the other day: “broken family.” Notice this label is rarely–if ever–used in Christian circles to denote a family where one parent dies. It is the euphemism of choice to describe families that have experienced divorce. I maintain that if we hesitate to use … Continue reading “Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families”
Author: Divorce Minister
Not a Regrettable Footnote But More!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV How can you miss it that bad?! How can someone read and understand the Bible yet treat adultery as a “regrettable footnote” to a marriage ending? It astounds me … Continue reading “Not a Regrettable Footnote But More!”
Working on the Divorce Minister book…
Work has commenced in producing a book form of this blog. I have tentatively entitled the project: Taking Adultery Seriously: The Divorce Minister Guide To Surviving Infidelity Since I have a full-time job that pays the bills and an active young family, please be patient with me as I work on the manuscript for this … Continue reading “Working on the Divorce Minister book…”
And then the sadness fades away…
I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. … You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy…. -Psalm 30:1, 11b, NLT Memories of one’s past life remain. They sometimes stalk one in the strangest of times and places. Such is … Continue reading “And then the sadness fades away…”
“Exit Affairs” and Faulting Thinking
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV What I find especially troubling is how some people will call some affairs … Continue reading ““Exit Affairs” and Faulting Thinking”
Crossed the line sexually with another man
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NIV In my trial to keep my minister’s license, I will never forget how the leading denominational official behaved. I had submitted an email from my ex-wife where she confirmed a reference to … Continue reading “Crossed the line sexually with another man”
Fire Forged Friendship with God
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. -Isaiah 43:2, NLT What makes me so devoted to following Jesus? Like numerous … Continue reading “Fire Forged Friendship with God”
God Uses Broken and Weak People – Ask Paul!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9a, NIV The blogosphere has been ignited by Joe Carter’s “Beware of Broken Wolves” post at The Gospel Coalition website. I found the article disturbing. In particular, I was troubled when Carter wrote: But … Continue reading “God Uses Broken and Weak People – Ask Paul!”
Why put the adultery victim on trial for being victimized?
Why put the adultery victim on trial but not the cheater? One of the most backwards pieces in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my minister’s license was how I was on trial for being cheated on and divorced by my ex-wife. Even after such cheating and abandonment was established (my ex-wife was the one insisting … Continue reading “Why put the adultery victim on trial for being victimized?”
What about our unmet needs?!
When couples go to other Christians or pastors for help, the usual line of conversation focuses upon the “unmet” needs of the cheater. The assumptions behind such conversations include: 1) the faithful spouse is to blame for the cheating (in part) and 2) the faithful spouse did not have unmet needs (or they would have … Continue reading “What about our unmet needs?!”