“I’m tired of pretending. I just need a break from our marriage,” says Cheater.
“So, you want to pretend you aren’t married when you are? That’s not how our marriage vows work,” replies faithful spouse.
Cheaters might ask for “a break” as if your marriage is just an extended period of dating.
Such statements reinforce my belief Cheaters are simply people whose development has been stunted. They never grew out of adolescent into true adulthood. Hard things like keeping your vows when it is difficult is not their strength.
You cannot take a break from marriage. It is a simple binary:
You either are married or you are not.
It is like being pregnant. There’s no “break” from the state of being pregnant. You either are or you are not.
The person suggesting “a break” from their marriage is already violating the marriage vows of sticking with their partner through “better and worse” minimally.*
Likely, they are cheating or about to cheat as such thinking puts distance between them and their commitment to the marriage. That is not a good thing.
Bad things happen when we retreat into fantasyland in the face of hard realities. Going on such “a break” sets a precedence where acting on a fantasy is acceptable, and that is a recipe for priming one to cheat. Not good or godly!
________
*I do not count this for abuse victims seeking space from their abuser. That is a different situation. It isn’t “a break” but rather space for safety.
