Grief is weird. It shows up on its own schedule. Sometimes, it blindsides you out of nowhere. Yesterday, I was driving through the campus of my old college where I had met my ex-wife. Suddenly, the wave of memories from my life there hit me. I cannot say what was specifically triggering the tears. But … Continue reading “Weirdness of grief”
Selfishness as demonic
15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. -James 3:15-16, NLT Selfishness as Demonic Few acts are as selfish as cheating. The cheater only sees the immediate gratification they … Continue reading “Selfishness as demonic”
Look for godliness as priority in pastoral care
“Let’s set aside the affair for a moment. We need to work on your marriage. You each have problems you need to own.” -Pastor/Christian Counselor If a version comes out of your pastors or counselor’s mouth, it is time to find a new pastor or counselor. They are dangerously clueless. Fidelity is a bedrock for … Continue reading “Look for godliness as priority in pastoral care”
What that verse on revenge does NOT say…
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “What that verse on revenge does NOT say…”
I sold the bedroom furniture.
“… Steve ‘sterilized’ his house, repainting inside and out, laying new carpets, hanging new pictures on the walls and buying new furniture. Others have burned photographs, thrown away clothes, and smashed personal belongings.” -Michael Fox, Ph.D., The Emotional Rape Syndrome, pp 22. I sold the bedroom furniture. Before I moved halfway across the country, I decided … Continue reading “I sold the bedroom furniture.”
Safe place to fall apart
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…. -Ecclesiastes 3:4, KJV When a marriage ends, we need a space where we can be honest with our pain. Often times, that includes “the ugly cry.” I encourage you all to find a place where you can … Continue reading “Safe place to fall apart”
Godly hope
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. -Romans 5:5, NLT Hope is precious. We need hope to live. It is just as important to our living as food and water. The … Continue reading “Godly hope”
God reveals Himself as faithful to the faithful!
Lord, it is clear to me now that how we live will dictate how you deal with us. Good people will taste your goodness, Lord. And to those who are loyal to you, you love to prove that you are loyal and true. -Psalm 18:25, TPT God rewards faithfulness. This is a spiritual truth. I … Continue reading “God reveals Himself as faithful to the faithful!”
Shared Tears
“God Weeps Too” by Eli–an obscure Christian artist from the 90s–is one of my favorite songs. While he does not name situations of infidelity survival, I love how he names God as one who weeps alongside the broken-hearted. This understanding of God coming alongside like a good parent or friend was important for me to … Continue reading “Shared Tears”
Their allergic reaction to biblical truth
The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them [pigs].” -Mark 5:12, NIV Cheaters often do not want to face the truth. Confronted with the truth about how evil their behavior is, some choose to run away or blame the faithful spouse. The truth burns. Take a cheater who … Continue reading “Their allergic reaction to biblical truth”