You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!”
If your cheater is still making demands…
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “If your cheater is still making demands…”
Cheater-Speak Manipulation: “I protected YOUR reputation….”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. The manipulation is the Cheater expects the “same” in return. (I use scare quotes as I doubt the Cheater actually did this.) They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for the cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends. I say … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak Manipulation: “I protected YOUR reputation….””
Never really chosen
Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “Never really chosen”
Much love
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:36, NIV Ever feel tired and overwhelmed by life? This is the picture I get regarding the crowd mentioned in Matthew 9:36. They were overwhelmed by the difficulties of life, and the usual religious … Continue reading “Much love”
Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses”
Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage”
Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14, NKJV One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter … Continue reading “Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage””
Eighth Anniversary!
Eight years ago, today, I exchanged marriage vows and Mrs. DM became Mrs. DM. It was probably the happiest day of my life to date. We couldn’t stop grinning the whole wedding ceremony. I am so grateful for Mrs. DM. We have now been a couple longer than my first marriage to my Cheater. In … Continue reading “Eighth Anniversary!”
Thankfully, God gets angry!
In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, NKJV My God gets … Continue reading “Thankfully, God gets angry!”
Eternal souls, NOT eternal marriages!
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Eternal souls, NOT eternal marriages!”