Forgiveness does NOT eliminate natural consequences!

  13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT eliminate natural consequences!”

Dating again? Pro-Tip: Date someone who is bad at lying.

Dating again? My recommendation is to find someone who is not very good at lying. Put in more positive framing: Find a transparent and honest person. My ex-wife was very good at lying. I suspect many can relate to this statement who come here as well. Was your cheater an accomplished liar, too? Some cheaters … Continue reading “Dating again? Pro-Tip: Date someone who is bad at lying.”

Church-y advice about “both sides”

Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same! Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility … Continue reading “Church-y advice about “both sides””

Look for godly fruit!

“15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.     16 Ye shall know them by th eir fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.”   … Continue reading “Look for godly fruit!”

“I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included.”

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading ““I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included.””

Cheater Childish Mindset: “Mine! Mine! Mine!”

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” -Mark 10:7-8, NIV “Mine!” A Toddler’s Mindset In Marriage One of  the oddest dynamics that I have seen over and again while dealing with … Continue reading “Cheater Childish Mindset: “Mine! Mine! Mine!””

Subtle blame of faithful spouses in churches

The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater. I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame of faithful spouses in churches”