Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV When an adulterous spouse feigns ignorance or confusion over the ending of their marriage, it is a ploy to avoid taking responsibility. This isn’t rocket science, folks! God does not command the ending of a marriage over adultery in the Old Testament to signal such sin is … Continue reading ““Thou shalt not commit adultery” is far from unclear, folks!”
Simple Terminal Marital Sin Diagnosis
Tell me how your marriage fell apart is NOT a biblical diagnostic prompt. This sort of prompt is what it looks like to bow to secular psychology and ignore biblical diagnosis of terminal marital sin. Now, this prompt might lead to a story involving terminal marital sin. AND it might lead to a long story where blame … Continue reading “Simple Terminal Marital Sin Diagnosis”
Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over!
Cheaters sometimes claim they were free to cheat because “the marriage was over.” Some even say this even though they were attending couple’s counseling with a therapist and/or pastor. The faithful spouse was kept in the dark during this time, obviously. Public Service Announcement: Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over! … Continue reading “Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over!”
Gaining peace
…”I said about them, ‘They wander in their hearts just like they do with their feet, and they refuse to learn my ways.’My heart grieved over them so I decreed: ‘They will never enter into the calming rest of my Spirit!’ ” -Hebrews 3:10b-11, TPT While it might not feel like it initially, divorcing a cheater can lead … Continue reading “Gaining peace”
Like a healed broken bone in a weather change…
While I would never willing give up what I have with Mrs. DM and Munchkin, I sometimes feel the pain of what was lost with my ex-wife. This is grief talking. What I often tell my patients is not to judge our feelings. They are not good or bad. Feelings just are. We get into trouble … Continue reading “Like a healed broken bone in a weather change…”
“I’m sorry. That is not what I believe happened.”
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” -Daniel Patrick Moynihan, American Politician Cheaters often forget that faithful spouses do not owe them agreement with their marriage ending narrative. This reality does not stop cheaters from expecting and demanding such agreement, though. Cheaters are perfectly fine pressuring a faithful partner (or ex) … Continue reading ““I’m sorry. That is not what I believe happened.””
Mailbag: Spiritual Abuse at Driscoll-esque Church
Hi, I’m trying to heal from spiritual abuse, and I came across your blog. I have a few questions about things I’m wondering about. If you have time to answer them, it would be helpful to me. Firstly, I’m so sorry for what you went through at Mars Hill, with your in-laws and ex-wife. The … Continue reading “Mailbag: Spiritual Abuse at Driscoll-esque Church”
If a pastor asks you…
If a pastor asks a faithful spouse about your part in the divorce from a known cheater, that is a sign his advice for you is not going to be godly or good for you. This sort of blame-assigning question is like stomping on someone’s foot and then asking your victim what was his part in … Continue reading “If a pastor asks you…”
Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am separated from my wife. She left me and our boys, age 12, on November 2nd 2018. She said she was stressed dealing with one of our sons who has ADHD and ODD. At first, it was a 30 day separation and I was a good dad, husband, provider, etc. She … Continue reading “Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.”
Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Dads!
7 For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them. -Isaiah 61:7, KJV Our society occasionally acknowledges the difficulty for mothers on Mother’s Day. Sadly, we don’t do as good a job acknowledging the … Continue reading “Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Dads!”