“So what if you forgave her? You would always be able to hold her cheating over her head.” – Cheater “supporter” What so many faithful spouses fail to recognize early is how the relationship with their cheater is really about the cheater having and maintaining power. Remember the adage: Knowledge is power. We think that … Continue reading “Pay Attention to Power Dynamics!”
Cheater Claiming To Have Overcome Their Sin
“I talked it through with my [individual] therapist, and it [the cheating] is no longer a problem. The real problem in our marriage is how you ….” – Cheater Never take a cheater on their word alone. Cheaters are accomplished manipulators. They have been known to play seasoned pastors and therapists. Some cheaters have honed … Continue reading “Cheater Claiming To Have Overcome Their Sin”
The “Model Divorced”
“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. And maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “The “Model Divorced””
Bondage Breaking Music
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” -Romans 8:15, NLT Music is powerful. It moves the soul. Plato recognized this writing about controlling what music one heard as part of his … Continue reading “Bondage Breaking Music”
Prayer of Power – 2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV What I have found dealing with anxiety and fear is that this verse has power! I recite 2 Timothy 1:7 over and over again in my mind as prayer when … Continue reading “Prayer of Power – 2 Timothy 1:7”
Prospering Cheater Envy
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this verse … Continue reading “Prospering Cheater Envy”
Angel Armies Answer To OUR God!
The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. -Psalm 46:6-7, NRSV Fear and anxiety seems to be a constant companion after discovering infidelity. The “What if’s” easily can drive one insane with terror … Continue reading “Angel Armies Answer To OUR God!”
Cheater-speak: “Telling him would be selfish.”
“Telling him would be selfish. That would ruin our marriage.” – Cheater What a twisted lie people tell themselves and others! Think if we applied this lie to a different situation: Someone embezzles tens of thousands from your friend’s retirement account. They are a “good” criminal and know how to hide the theft. Would … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “Telling him would be selfish.””
Clueless Christian: “What did you learn?”
“I’ll tell you by what authority I do these things if you answer one question,” Jesus replied. -Mark 11:29, NLT “What did you learn about yourself from your divorce?” – Clueless Christian (asking Faithful Spouse) Context matters. I have no problem asking honest questions coming from a humble or genuine place of interest. What I … Continue reading “Clueless Christian: “What did you learn?””
Pro-Tip: Pastors, Faithful Spouses Need Condemnation Free Spaces
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Pastors, Faithful Spouses Need Condemnation Free Spaces”