If your pastor considers you in sin simply because you are angry…

So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables… His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” John 2:15, 17, NIV If your pastor considers you in sin … Continue reading “If your pastor considers you in sin simply because you are angry…”

Shake Off Their Dust!

 And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them. -Luke 9:5, KJV Jesus gave us a ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18), yet Jesus told His Disciples to move on if this ministry was rejected! Cheaters reject godly reconciliation … Continue reading “Shake Off Their Dust!”

My Evangelical Marriage Helpline Experience

Calling the Focus on the Family® Helpline When the Other Man was revealed to me, I called a helpline to figure out my next steps. Specifically, I called the Focus on the Family® Helpline (1-855-771-HELP (4357)). It actually was supportive for me. My mother had called earlier and had a very bad experience with the … Continue reading “My Evangelical Marriage Helpline Experience”

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” -Matthew 27:46b, KJV When I was struggling the most, these words from Jesus brought me the greatest comfort. They were reminders to me that God understood the pain and suffering that I was enduring. He could relate. Jesus understands what it meant to suffer unjustly. Jesus understands … Continue reading “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

Two Practical Strategies for Peace

“…and the truth shall make you free.” -John 8:32b, KJV Two Practical Strategies for Peace When I was recovering from my divorce from my cheater, two particular strategies helped me the most. 1. Identify the “handles,” “triggers,” or otherwise unwanted labels/identities that you vehemently are trying to avoid. An effective manipulator is able to hone … Continue reading “Two Practical Strategies for Peace”

Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT For those who are unfamiliar, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) is a–if not THE— major professional association for marriage therapists in the United States.  You can read their ethics statement by clicking (here). Today’s post … Continue reading “Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT”

The Tragedy of the Ending

The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way….” -I Samuel 16:1a, NIV The Tragedy of the Ending Just because we have accepted the end of the marriage due to the adultery does … Continue reading “The Tragedy of the Ending”

Alcohol and Cheaters

You know the song: “Love and Marriage?” As it applies to infidelity from what I hear and know, I think it could be rewritten with the lyrics… “Booze and cheating, booze and cheating…” Alcohol can impair judgment. But I do not buy the cheater excuse that the “alcohol made me do it.” They never ought … Continue reading “Alcohol and Cheaters”

Engage in empathy to avoid errors

“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” -Matthew 7:12, NLT Engage in Empathy to Avoid Errors So many of the pastoral care errors I encountered and have heard about could be avoided if those pastors … Continue reading “Engage in empathy to avoid errors”