But if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the LORD, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23, NLT (emphasis mine) What amazes me is how cheaters seem to believe their sins and treachery are beyond discovery by faithful spouses! To be fair, … Continue reading “Somehow cheaters think they will never get caught…”
Faithful Spouse, Fixing Yourself Does Not Fix This.
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God… -Romans 3:23, KJV While it is wise and admirable to work on one’s own sins, issues, and shortcomings, I believe it is important to be clear about one thing: Faithful Spouse, “fixing” yourself cannot fix your adultery-ravaged marriage. Despite what “Christian” books and … Continue reading “Faithful Spouse, Fixing Yourself Does Not Fix This.”
On Preferring To Be “Imagining Things”
Discovering you spouse has been committing adultery is an incredibly traumatic experience. -You want to be wrong–even crazy is preferable to the real traumatic mess this actually is! -You want your world not to be upended and obliterated like it is. -In short, you want to wake up from this nightmare. This is grief and … Continue reading “On Preferring To Be “Imagining Things””
PSA: A partial truth is still fully a lie!
So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. -Ephesians 4:25, NLT Public Service Announcement: Partial Truths Are Fully Lies! This is a very common tactic of caught cheaters. They will confess to the point where the evidence would make them look ridiculous but … Continue reading “PSA: A partial truth is still fully a lie!”
Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!
Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin. -Deuteronomy 24:16, NIV Today, I quote some basic justice principles laid out in the Old Testament. It is actually rather clear; however, the dynamics around infidelity often put both survivor … Continue reading “Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!”
Again: O, the injustice!
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then … Continue reading “Again: O, the injustice!”
Dear DM…What I do not understand…
Dear DM, I appreciate the biblical explanations on your site. I have been married 24 years. I dealt with infidelity/adultery in the first 3 years of marriage and because we were Christians, and I loved my husband we reconciled. I thought we were worked through that many years ago and that was over. Fast foreword … Continue reading “Dear DM…What I do not understand…”
It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.
But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32, NLT When I first discovered the Other Man, my righteous anger burned hot against him! I really wanted to mess him up in that moment of discovery. He had defiled my marriage with my wife. Raped my soul! Then … Continue reading “It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.”
He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?
“He stopped committing adultery and seems to be repenting. Must I remain married to him?” -Faithful Spouse Some pastors would vehemently disagree with the position I take on this matter. They would try and add to the teachings of Jesus by insisting faithful spouse must take back cheaters who have stopped cheating. I do not hold such … Continue reading “He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?”
A Tale of Two Lives–Five Years Ago Today!
Five years ago to this day, I applied for my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) while my world was falling apart. My wife had left me. We were still doing couples counseling–as I remember it. But that was an exercise in futility. Unknown to me at the time, my (now ex) wife was … Continue reading “A Tale of Two Lives–Five Years Ago Today!”