But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel,
Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour…
– Isaiah 43:1-3a, KJV (emphasis mine)
Scars of a degrading, slanderous narrative can last far longer than any divorce.
I personally can attest to this fact. As a naturally introspective sort of person, I spent way too many hours and days parsing the half-truths and flat out lies my ex and her cohorts fabricated about me. These were the real sources of lasting destructive pain for me.
In my opinion, she painted a picture of me as a wife-beating, lazy couch potato to her supporters. My ex even tried to turn my own mother against me with such slanderous insinuations but was unsuccessful when my mother challenged her about the facts regarding such serious insinuations regarding her own son. She had none, really.
This false picture of me used to be a source of great pain.
I would never beat my wife. That is completely against my nature and upbringing. I do not hit women.
So, it pained me greatly for her to characterize me as such a man–i.e. someone who was a hairs-breath away from loosing it and going violent with her. This from the one woman–at the time–I had let closest to my heart and to which I had been most vulnerable.
The false narrative itself was a betrayal of great proportions.
But this narrative, finally, does not eat at my heart. Something has changed in me. I no longer need the validation of my ex-wife’s opinions nor the validation of her supporters.
I know the truth.
The truth is that such a narrative about me was and is a lie.
And the truth has set me free, indeed.
This false narrative might not be the one tailor made to cut you down or infect your mind with endless hours of torment:
Maybe he called you crazy and unstable helping you along by gas-lighting you?
Perhaps, she claimed you are an emotionally unavailable man and that’s why she cheated on you?
I encourage you not to take the words of a known liar and cheat to heart. Find the truth and let the truth set you free. You do not need them to agree with you.
After all, what good is an agreement with someone who has demonstrated neither valuing truth or your well-being as a person?
Let the truth lead you to peace.