Category: Trauma of adultery

Choosing to divorce a cheater is NOT vengeful!

And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned [to divorce her] secretly. -Matthew 1:19, NASB (footnoted alternate translation used in brackets) Do we consider a rape victim “hurt and vengeful” for choosing to have her rapist prosecuted for his crime? I wouldn’t. It is a matter of justice … Continue reading “Choosing to divorce a cheater is NOT vengeful!”

What about the damage to the cheater’s reputation?

“Keep it as quiet as possible. Just think about the damage done to other relationships if you tell them she cheated on you [aka the truth].” -Standard (Awful) Advice Such concern for the damage of relationships is too late in coming. Actions reveal character. Character often shapes reputation. If a cheater wanted a good reputation, … Continue reading “What about the damage to the cheater’s reputation?”

PSA: Do not send a list of why you want her (or him)!

Public Service Announcement (PSA): Do not send your cheater a list of reasons you want to remain married to them! Yes, I learned this one the hard way. Such a list only invites entitled contempt from the cheater. The last thing a cheater needs is someone stroking their ego. They already think they are awesome–even … Continue reading “PSA: Do not send a list of why you want her (or him)!”

Commentary on cheaters claiming to be Christians

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven….Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ -Matthew 7:21, 23, NIV Anyone who continues to live in him will … Continue reading “Commentary on cheaters claiming to be Christians”

Grandiose Martyr Cheater

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love–Isaac–and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” -Genesis 22:2, NIV Leave it to cheaters to pretend they are doing something noble while acting treacherously and wickedly towards their spouse. They … Continue reading “Grandiose Martyr Cheater”

Correcting cheap cheater forgiveness teachings

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Correcting cheap cheater forgiveness teachings”

David Clarke, Ph.D. Online Resource

While wondering on the internet looking for resources from David Clarke, PhD, I stumbled upon his website (click here). These past few days I have been listening to his podcast. He has some good things to say in those podcasts. Clarke is not a wimpy Christian counselor. He does not let cheaters off the hook … Continue reading “David Clarke, Ph.D. Online Resource”

Cheaters and their spouse improvement lists

Cheaters sometimes come with the faithful spouse to a pastor (or Christian marriage counselor) with a list. This is a list designed to excuse their behavior and keep the focus off their own sin. Many take the bait. We, faithful spouses, think that if we do the requested self-improvements then we can save our marriage. … Continue reading “Cheaters and their spouse improvement lists”

If they blame you for their emotional affair…

If they blame you for their emotional affair… …be aware that they will have no problem blaming you for a physical affair, too! This is one of the many reasons to take an emotional affair seriously. Once the cheater feels embolden to believe lies about emotional affairs–namely, they are not responsible for such sin–then consider … Continue reading “If they blame you for their emotional affair…”