21 “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV A typical response from some folks about cheating is treating as a symptom of marriage problems. That … Continue reading “Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
“Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the [divorce] papers.” -Church Official After I had successfully defended my ministerial license with my now former denomination, I was forced to undergo a year of pastoral “care.” The official in charge of this year–knowing the awful details of my divorce–made a version of the above statement. If you did not … Continue reading ““Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.””
Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!
NIV1984 Righteous. This is the word used in the same sentence about a man choosing divorce in light of (assumed) adultery. The Bible has forever associated the word righteous with the choice to divorce. It is part of the Christmas story! God does not shame Joseph in this passage for deciding to divorce a pregnant … Continue reading “Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” says tearful Cheater. Notice what is missing in such a statement from a Cheater: -No mention of what they did being wrong. -No hint that they would not do it, again. -No remorse for your pain. They are trying to manage their own conscience and protect their image with … Continue reading ““I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line”
Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NIV Cheaters have a vested interest in having your agreement to their marriage ending narrative. If they have anything left of a conscience, they hope to alleviate the internal pain by getting your agreement to their narrative. Of course, this … Continue reading “Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative”
PSA: Get Tested, Please!
When I was going through my divorce after discovering infidelity, I went to the doctor’s office to get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). It was the wise thing to do. That was a hard doctor’s visit. Thankfully, my results came back negative. But it was necessary for peace of mind following such nasty deception. … Continue reading “PSA: Get Tested, Please!”
My ministry philosophy
35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:35-36, NIV My hurt is burdened for those who are … Continue reading “My ministry philosophy”
Don’t want someone’s pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t want someone’s pity.”
What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred. Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue or symptom to … Continue reading “What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.”
PSA: The real shame is committing adultery, Pastors!
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. -Proverbs 6:32-33, NIV The real shame is not faithful spouses divorcing cheaters, pastors. The real shame is Christians committing adultery! Preaching or counseling against divorce is a little late when it comes … Continue reading “PSA: The real shame is committing adultery, Pastors!”