Grief lingers on long after forgiveness has put anger to bed. This is my experience now years removed from my divorce from a cheater. The anger is long gone. Yet I find myself feeling sad as I think of what was lost, tragically. I say tragically as it never had to happen. Yet God allows … Continue reading “Sadness remains”
Category: Trauma of adultery
PSA: They did NOT “have to” cheat on you! No matter what.
Public Service Announcement (PSA): They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies. The cheater did not have to go down … Continue reading “PSA: They did NOT “have to” cheat on you! No matter what.”
Evil toying cheaters
Some cheaters are acutely aware of the power they have over the faithful spouse. They understand that divorcing their spouse will mean the professional destruction of the faithful spouse. Plus, they may know that the faithful spouse is highly committed to working through even infidelity. With this knowledge, they toy with the faithful spouse taking … Continue reading “Evil toying cheaters”
I care about you, but not enough to…
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I care about you BUT not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading “I care about you, but not enough to…”
Update on Ben and Julianna Zobrist divorce situation
“According to Ben’s brief, Julianna admitted in her deposition that she was ‘engaging in sexual relations with both husband and Pastor Yawn prior to husband’s leave of absence’ from the Cubs and continued ‘her sexual affair while the parties were attending marital counseling.’” -Phil Thompson, “5 things to know about the Ben and Julianna Zobrist … Continue reading “Update on Ben and Julianna Zobrist divorce situation”
Cheater-Speak: “But we were separated.”
“It is not adultery. We were living apart at the time,” says Cheater. A cheater trying to avoid responsibility for violating their marriage vows might attempt to use the “geography excuse.” This is the one where they excuse their behavior as “acceptable” since they were living apart from their spouse. They might even have started … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “But we were separated.””
Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.
“Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading “Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.”
“Yes, it is a problem. Adultery is THE problem!”
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Which is the biggest marital sin that one can commit according to the Bible? Adultery. Cheaters–and sometimes, even well-meaning pastors–sometimes treat adultery as a side problem to marriage troubles. This … Continue reading ““Yes, it is a problem. Adultery is THE problem!””
Cheater-Speak: “You weren’t doing enough.”
“You weren’t pulling your weight in this family. So, I was all alone and overwhelmed with everything. That’s why I cheated,” says Cheater. The poor overwhelmed cheater was able to make space in her calendar to lie, steal, and risk the physical well-being of their spouse. Such a cheater is trying to illicit pity in … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “You weren’t doing enough.””
Yes, they DO get more vicious while cheating!
They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right. -Romans 2:15, NLT Sometimes cheaters become crueler to their spouses when they are actively engaged in infidelity. They cheat and attend couples counseling where they tell the counselor or … Continue reading “Yes, they DO get more vicious while cheating!”