Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Godly forgiveness is NOT cheap forgiveness”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheater, you are the aggressor, not victim, here!
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! -I Corinthians 6:15, NIV Cheater, you are the aggressor, not the victim, here! For whatever reasons, people are often taken in by the pity story a caught cheater spins … Continue reading “Cheater, you are the aggressor, not victim, here!”
Real, good friends suffer with you.
“Let Me Show You the Way” is an old but favorite song from Michael W. Smith. He really captures the heart of true friendship. This song by MWS speaks to what I believe is a human longing. It is a longing for a good friend who loves at a deep, heart-level. These are the friends … Continue reading “Real, good friends suffer with you.”
Pastor to DM: What DO I say to an adultery victim?
“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” -Matthew 10:42, NIV What DO I say to an adultery victim as a pastor? Yesterday’s post raised this question. Dr. Skinner suggested a … Continue reading “Pastor to DM: What DO I say to an adultery victim?”
Sometimes the criticism just reveals the critic.
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. -Proverbs 10:19, NKJV People’s criticisms say a lot… …but not necessarily anything about the one criticized. This is a lesson impressed upon me during my formal training in clinical pastoral care. It is an important lesson to remember … Continue reading “Sometimes the criticism just reveals the critic.”
An affair is NEVER about the other spouse.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV The affair is never about the other spouse. I know this is a controversial thing to write. But it is true from a pastor’s perspective. We know this truth from … Continue reading “An affair is NEVER about the other spouse.”
Did you know Jesus condemns, too?
“Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.” -Jesus in John 3:18, NIV Jesus is condemning, too! We often make God in our own image or an image we prefer. That image of Jesus is … Continue reading “Did you know Jesus condemns, too?”
A natural temptation
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23-24, KJV A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the cheater’s behavior. Please do your best to resist this temptation! … Continue reading “A natural temptation”
Integrity is worth a lot.
When Peter saw him [John], he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” – John 21:21-22, NIV It is understandable. You have been soul raped and your world has been turned upside down by your partner’s selfish, … Continue reading “Integrity is worth a lot.”
The Cheater Scramble: “How did you find out?”
“How did you find out?” says incredulous, busted Cheater. When a cheater gets busted and their first impulse is to learn how you discovered them, you know that cheater is the opposite of repentant. Such is pride speaking–namely, they wrongly assumed that they could deceive you forever. Now, the cheater wants to know how they … Continue reading “The Cheater Scramble: “How did you find out?””