When my life was recently obliterated by the discovery of the other man plus my (now ex) wife serving me divorce papers, I took a trip to visit my best friends in New York City. It was Labor Day weekend. Now, I am not a huge NYC fan–no offense to those who love this city … Continue reading “Labor Day Distraction Gift”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Most basic moral code failure
Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony…” -Matthew 19:17b-18, NIV Keeping the Ten Commandments are required for entering (eternal) life per … Continue reading “Most basic moral code failure”
Committing adultery is evidence of flunking Christianity 101.
The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. -Romans 13:9-10a, NIV Cheaters have been known to profess their commitment to Christianity … Continue reading “Committing adultery is evidence of flunking Christianity 101.”
A confessing Christian cheater may not be a Christian
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” -Matthew 7:21, NIV Confessing “Christian” Cheaters One of the most confusing part of dealing with adultery and general infidelity discoveries is how they do not fit with the … Continue reading “A confessing Christian cheater may not be a Christian”
Did you love her?
“Did you ever love her?” OR “Did you ever love him?” This is such a simply stated question. However, it is far from simple when applied to a cheater. Looking back on the marriage and how it ended, it is complicated. How can you say you ever loved someone who revealed they were utterly different … Continue reading “Did you love her?”
Religious lectures from cheater apologists
“But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the Lord Almighty. -Malachi 2:8, NIV More than one of my (now) ex-wife’s family members took it upon themselves to lecture me about how I needed to be a better Christian husband. … Continue reading “Religious lectures from cheater apologists”
Will you let your desert experience steal your song?
His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” -Job 2:9, NIV These words were uttered by a woman who had just suffered catastrophic loss with her husband, Job. They had loss their considerable wealth, servants, their children, and even Job’s own health. It was bleak. When faced with great … Continue reading “Will you let your desert experience steal your song?”
Reacting to issues versus responding to issues
A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back. -Proverbs 29:11, NKJV I have little doubt cheaters have issues. They may even have some legitimate complaints about us, their spouses. However, these legitimate issues are not excuses to sin. God does not give us permission to sin. What many people get wrong with … Continue reading “Reacting to issues versus responding to issues”
Faith is choosing to praise God when He feels distant
…God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” -Hebrews 13:5b, NIV When faced with the trauma of discovering your cheater, you are faced with a spiritual choice: Will I choose to believe God’s promise to me or look at this with natural eyes believing the lie that God has already … Continue reading “Faith is choosing to praise God when He feels distant”
Just keep your word.
Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? … Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the Lord, and keep their promises even when it hurts. -Psalm 15:1b, 4, NLT A certain behavior really angers me. It is when people tell me one thing and do the opposite. It is something … Continue reading “Just keep your word.”