Divorce = “Failed Marriage” Is a marriage that ends other than in divorce thereby “successful?” I may be speaking from my own baggage or sensitivities on this. Plenty of divorced individuals seem to have no problem with this word selection. However, I do not like the word choice when “failed marriage” is used interchangeably for … Continue reading ““Failed Marriage” label issues”
Category: Cheating
Keeping boundaries is not the same as “punishment”
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Keeping boundaries is not the same as “punishment””
An evil way to end it…
If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT Cheaters sometimes choose adultery as a way to totally blow up their marriage on the way to abandon their spouse via the divorce discard. In my opinion, … Continue reading “An evil way to end it…”
The grief can be complicated.
Grief hurts. It surprises even years after the loss. You might think you have “dealt with that” only to discover feelings ambush you at some surprise moment. Our culture does not do grief well. Churches can be especially bad on this number. This is particularly true as it comes to the grief associated with a … Continue reading “The grief can be complicated.”
It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!
But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NLT Faithful spouse, you are free to choose divorce over staying in an abusive marriage with a cheater. This is what I see … Continue reading “It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!”
Divorcing a cheater is not an “easy way out!”
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater is not an “easy way out!””
Restitution is a true sorry.
Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT Sorry is a beginning. A true sorry is one backed by actions demonstrating an effort to … Continue reading “Restitution is a true sorry.”
It takes effort to deceive.
She hides and waits like a robber, eager to make more men unfaithful. -Proverbs 23:28, NLT For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity. In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the … Continue reading “It takes effort to deceive.”
You will always be treated as “The Problem.”
When a cheater is done with their spouse, they will treat the spouse as “The Problem.” This is a dangerous time for the faithful spouse because this is when they experience the full contempt of the cheater. Sadly, many pastors and other counselors egg the cheater to say more contemptuous things about the faithful spouse … Continue reading “You will always be treated as “The Problem.””
Strong medicine!
“Nice” does not work with someone who has doubled down on destruction. If someone is about to run off a cliff, we don’t worry about saying a “harsh” word but rather–those who care–shout to get them to stop running. That is loving. Quietly objecting is not. Someone who is cheating is stuck on the short-term. … Continue reading “Strong medicine!”