Divorce rates are poor proxies. Stop lamenting them, pastors, please!

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! – Galatians 5:14-15, NKJV   Lamenting divorce rates among Christians Likely, it is meant well. Good intentions are there, I am … Continue reading “Divorce rates are poor proxies. Stop lamenting them, pastors, please!”

Dear Divorce Minister, Am I expecting too much?

Dear Divorce Minister, I was googling today just to see if there was anything else that the Lord would want me to know. This letter from Mike is the exact reversal of my story. 11 years ago, I was a wealthy woman with business interest and income that exceeded $1.2 mil per year, At that … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, Am I expecting too much?”

“I’m afraid of him” Trump Card

“I’m afraid of him,” she–aka cheater–says. This like a blank check that a female cheater can cash in at anytime for sympathy and support from pastors and therapists alike. Most do not bother to ask any followup questions as to why she is claiming such fear. If they do, they might get: “I’m afraid, because he … Continue reading ““I’m afraid of him” Trump Card”

“Model” Faithful Spouse

“I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me—     I despise my life.  Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God.     That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even to … Continue reading ““Model” Faithful Spouse”

Mailbag: Is my wife having an emotional affair with the ‘Christian’ counselor?

Dear Divorce Minister, My wife, soon to be ex-wife, has consistently been meeting with one of our best friend. This guy has a Master’s in counseling and he and his wife counseled us for a couple of months about a year ago. The interesting part is that after we decided to seek other counseling the … Continue reading “Mailbag: Is my wife having an emotional affair with the ‘Christian’ counselor?”

Revised View on Church Discipline and Adultery

15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person … Continue reading “Revised View on Church Discipline and Adultery”

Meanings Without Moorings

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20, KJV Private Definitions of Cheaters I can remember my undergraduate philosophy professor telling us on multiple occasions how to deal with difficult argument situations. … Continue reading “Meanings Without Moorings”

God is forgiving AND leveled consequences!

Because you complained against me, every one of you who is twenty years old or older and was included in the registration will die. You will not enter and occupy the land I swore to give you. -Numbers 14:29b-30a, NLT When people consider God and His behavior towards sinning people, Christians often assume the book of … Continue reading “God is forgiving AND leveled consequences!”

Maddening Disbelief of Others

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Maddening Disbelief of Others”

Christian Leaders, All sins are not equal!

And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. – Leviticus 20:10, KJV Not all sins in a marriage are acceptable to God as worthy of ending a marriage (e.g. Mt 5:32). Not all … Continue reading “Christian Leaders, All sins are not equal!”