Today marks the ten year anniversary of my divorce. Looking back today, I am so grateful for the mercy of divorce. It cleared the way for the best things in my life today–namely, Mrs. DM, Munchkin, and my bird buddies. I have such a rich life today, which is only possible because I am no … Continue reading “A decade of divorce”
Category: Grief
A good distraction
When I was heading for my divorce and then recovering from it, I had some wonderful friends who helped distract me from the pain. It was a gift. I hope you have a true friend or two who does that for you as well. Sometimes, we need a break from the grief work. That is … Continue reading “A good distraction”
Complex feelings
Yesterday, I received some disappointing news regarding a management job I interviewed to get. I did not get the job. I would be lying to say I did not feel sad, angry, and disappointed about this. Yet I also feel relief and hope that, perhaps, God is directing even this disappointment for my good (see … Continue reading “Complex feelings”
Friends post adultery revelation
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:7, NLT A blessing in disguise with cheating revelation is how that awful news exposes ones true friends verses erstwhile “friends.” I am SOOOO grateful for the many friends who passed that fire-test. These are people who stood … Continue reading “Friends post adultery revelation”
Dumb Stuff “Christians” Say Regarding Cheating Situations
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. -Proverbs 17:28 More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice (and condemnation) come all too freely for faithful spouses. Here a few … Continue reading “Dumb Stuff “Christians” Say Regarding Cheating Situations”
Weirdness of grief
Grief is weird. It shows up on its own schedule. Sometimes, it blindsides you out of nowhere. Yesterday, I was driving through the campus of my old college where I had met my ex-wife. Suddenly, the wave of memories from my life there hit me. I cannot say what was specifically triggering the tears. But … Continue reading “Weirdness of grief”
I sold the bedroom furniture.
“… Steve ‘sterilized’ his house, repainting inside and out, laying new carpets, hanging new pictures on the walls and buying new furniture. Others have burned photographs, thrown away clothes, and smashed personal belongings.” -Michael Fox, Ph.D., The Emotional Rape Syndrome, pp 22. I sold the bedroom furniture. Before I moved halfway across the country, I decided … Continue reading “I sold the bedroom furniture.”
Safe place to fall apart
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…. -Ecclesiastes 3:4, KJV When a marriage ends, we need a space where we can be honest with our pain. Often times, that includes “the ugly cry.” I encourage you all to find a place where you can … Continue reading “Safe place to fall apart”
A problem not for a spouse to solve
21 Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: … 23 Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress. -Proverbs 30:21, 23, NASB (emphasis mine) I can still picture the moment… We had just moved into our first home we bought together, and … Continue reading “A problem not for a spouse to solve”
A decade of changes
A decade ago, I was about to depart to cross half the country for my residency in Chaplaincy. I had just discovered the Other Man who had been part of the picture for months prior to my knowledge. The summer of 2012 was a highly unpleasant summer for me. It felt hopeless, honestly. My marriage … Continue reading “A decade of changes”