For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God… -Romans 3:23, KJV While every human being is a sinner, that does not mean every human being has committed the same sins. Capable does not mean actual. The divorce fear-mongers tell faithful spouses essentially not to hope for a future partner who treats … Continue reading “Capable Versus Actual”
Category: Theology of divorce
Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].”
![Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].”](https://i0.wp.com/www.divorceminister.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/wp-1489760812892.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV “Yes, I crossed the line sexually with [Other Man]. But I am not divorcing you because of [Other Man].” -Adulteress This is just another way of saying that the cheater is unwilling … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].””
Silence Helps Evil
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV I am several years removed from my divorce and all the sinful, destructive shenanigans my cheating ex pulled. In fact, Mrs. DM and I will be observing our 3rd wedding anniversary later this month. So, why keep talking … Continue reading “Silence Helps Evil”
Words seasoned with mercy born of experience
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. … 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. -Matthew 5:4,7, NIV Experience is not a fail-safe teacher. After all, you have to be paying attention to learn. That said, I have noticed people who have gone through … Continue reading “Words seasoned with mercy born of experience”
Many Miserably Married Yet Don’t Cheat!
Christians seem especially invested in the marriage autopsy. I think this is part of the control fascination. It is the idea that we control whether or not our spouse cheats and/or abandons us. For us to accept the truth–i.e. we do NOT control whether or not our spouse cheats on and/or abandons us–makes us feel … Continue reading “Many Miserably Married Yet Don’t Cheat!”
Adultery, Divorce, and My Situation in the EFCA
Recently, I came across an article written by my endorsing organization, The National Association of Evangelicals. This article is entitled, “Can Pastors be Restored After Adultery.” It was posted in May 2012. The article is more or less a report from a poll taken from evangelical leaders on the question posed as the post’s title: … Continue reading “Adultery, Divorce, and My Situation in the EFCA”
Not up to you to stay married…
It is not up to you alone to stay married. This is a painful truth that the church needs to internalize. Divorce need not be chosen by both partners. One spouse can unilaterally decide to leave… …for any–or no–reason whatsoever! It is possible to have one spouse invested in seeing the marriage work 100% plus. That does … Continue reading “Not up to you to stay married…”
Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors”
Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am a adultery (victim) survivor. I actually think my stumble onto your webpage was an answer to my prayer. Recently a minister in my large church dropped a bombshell on the congregation. He told us that his wife had had an affair, and divorced him. He never prior to this announcement … Continue reading “Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.”
On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? … Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye…” – Matthew 7:3, 5a, NLT When I was going through my trials, I had no shortage of religious people willing to “help” me see my “sin” or … Continue reading “On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks”