I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me: For … Continue reading “It is a choice–bad one, yes–but still a choice.”
Category: Theology of divorce
Answering Well-Meaning Busybody Christians
“Sure, he cheated. But what was your part in all of that?” – Well-Meaning, Busybody Christian If you are a faithful spouse having gone through or going through a divorce, you likely have encountered this person: The Well-Meaning, Busybody Christian. Oblivious to how hurtful their comments and questions are, these individuals actually believe they are doing faithful spouses … Continue reading “Answering Well-Meaning Busybody Christians”
PSA: Christians, Stop Blaming Adultery Victims For Divorces!
And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, NASB Is God to be blamed for His divorce of Israel here in Jeremiah … Continue reading “PSA: Christians, Stop Blaming Adultery Victims For Divorces!”
Mailbag: Feeling torn between divorce and staying for the kids
I wonder if you could write on topic that deals with clash of emotions/feelings being a coward for allowing unfaithful partner back into our life without much consequences and at same time feeling like traitor to kids if choosing divorce instead. -Broken_Hurt Dear Broken_Hurt, It is not a betrayal of your children to act … Continue reading “Mailbag: Feeling torn between divorce and staying for the kids”
I knew, but didn’t…
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. -Psalm 139:16, NIV I start today’s post from this famous Psalm to make a point: Knowing is not the same thing as condoning or causing a behavior! God knew all of … Continue reading “I knew, but didn’t…”
Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…
Michael wrote: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian friend that really bothered me. It’s days later and I’m still bothered, hurt by his comments. Long story short, we got onto the topic of my divorce. Normally, I avoid this topic with this specific person. He is the one who told me about … Continue reading “Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…”
“God hates divorce” is not enough, pastors!
Faithful Spouse: “My wife left and cheated on me.” Pastor: “Well, God hates divorce.” [Awkward silence] A minister whose only response to adultery and abandonment is to tell the faithful spouse “God hates divorce” is a minister who is not truly ready and equipped to provide godly, pastoral counsel. To use such a verse in … Continue reading ““God hates divorce” is not enough, pastors!”
Common (False) Narratives Need Correcting!
Church ought to be a place where adultery victims can come to find support and comfort. Sadly, it often is quite the opposite. It is hard to admit to another Christian that you have been cheated on, discarded, and divorced by your spouse. This difficulty arises because two deeply entrenched narratives too frequently follow that … Continue reading “Common (False) Narratives Need Correcting!”
Mismatched Values
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched Values”
Others can be wrong. Let them!
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a community of people–even confessing Christians–who will not accept what happened or do and then … Continue reading “Others can be wrong. Let them!”