When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical. Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading “Regarding boasts of “saved marriages””
Author: Divorce Minister
Will you have faith in the coming Light?
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6, NIV When our worlds are blown up and we feel like all is darkness, we are faced with a choice: Do I believe the Light … Continue reading “Will you have faith in the coming Light?”
Grief around the divorce
The obvious loss with the divorce is the end of the marriage. However, we all know this loss is merely the tip of the loss iceberg. If we relied upon our cheater’s income, we loose financial security. We all loose money and material things both to obtain a divorce plus to divide up the marriage … Continue reading “Grief around the divorce”
“Exit Affair” Minimization
“We both know our marriage was in trouble for years. The affair wasn’t really the issue. It was just an exit affair.” -Cheater I hate how people minimize the damage of adultery by labeling some affairs: “exit affairs.” Does it make it less of a sin in God’s eyes if it was an “exit affair?” … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” Minimization”
God-sized Cheater Problem
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “God-sized Cheater Problem”
Counts as cheating?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:27-28, NIV “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew … Continue reading “Counts as cheating?”
Choosing battles and bridges to burn
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV Not every battle is worth fighting with a disordered individual. Not every bridge is worth maintaining. Some battles are best left alone. Some bridges are best burned. There is a season for everything. Many of us are not inclined to fight. … Continue reading “Choosing battles and bridges to burn”
A most reasonable expectation
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “A most reasonable expectation”
A traumatic date remembered
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV A Traumatic Date Remembered Yesterday, I was doing some online work to see if I could get my student loans forgiven. Part of this process includes putting in your former employer and dates … Continue reading “A traumatic date remembered”
Impact of “The Sexual Prosperity Gospel”
“It is ironic, then, that Christians who denounce the prosperity gospel have in recent years touted its sexier, if subtler, form: the sexual prosperity gospel…. [The Sexual Prosperity Gospel] holds that God will reward premarital chastity with a good Christian spouse, great sex and perpetual marital fulfillment.” -Katelyn Beaty in “Joshua Harris and the sexual … Continue reading “Impact of “The Sexual Prosperity Gospel””