Hi DM, This one is a doozy so bear with me. Long story short, I was married for 10 years to a guy I had known for 20 (grew up together). Thought we were happy in the marriage, before uncovering his infidelities (Ashley Madison accounts, hours of pornography each day, hidden Snapchat account where he … Continue reading “Dear DM: Do I participate in the Cheater’s Catholic annulment process?”
Author: Divorce Minister
Did your cheater try to enlist others against you?
Did your cheater try to enlist others against you? One of the nastier aspects of dealing with a cheater is how they decimate (or attempt to decimate) your own support system. They may have even started this process of turning people against you well before you had a clue about the cheating. Some cheaters might … Continue reading “Did your cheater try to enlist others against you?”
Cheater created anxieties
One of the many difficulties of dealing with a cheater is how they induce panic and anxiety in us. I can remember feeling such panic and anxiety during each interaction with my cheater. Maybe it is just me?! But I doubt it. This fear and panic comes from all the nasty surprises one gets in … Continue reading “Cheater created anxieties”
Happy Father’s Day to my fellow faithful dads!
Happy Father’s Day!* When everything went to pieces, I was grieving the thought that I might never get to be a dad. Well, that all changed when I married Mrs. DM. Instantly, I became a dad to Munchkin. God restores dreams! Also, I am so grateful for my own dad. He has been a rock … Continue reading “Happy Father’s Day to my fellow faithful dads!”
Deceitful heart
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? -Jeremiah 17:9, KJV I think this verse is especially true of the so called “Christian” cheaters. They lie to themselves first. Then they lie to others. If you were not the recipient of the harm, you could almost feel pity for … Continue reading “Deceitful heart”
“Forgiveness” Rather Than Repentance “Concerned” People
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” … Continue reading ““Forgiveness” Rather Than Repentance “Concerned” People”
Feeling fellowship with Christ, the Forsaken
“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” -Matthew 27:46b, KJV When I was struggling the most, these words from Jesus brought me the greatest comfort. They were reminders to me that God understood the pain and suffering that I was enduring. He could relate. Jesus understands what it meant to suffer unjustly. Jesus understands … Continue reading “Feeling fellowship with Christ, the Forsaken”
Keep telling your story, please!
Telling the story of what happened is important if we want to change how people treat faithful spouses. The larger narrative starts to change when people learn that their friend, colleague, or even family member was mistreated by a cheater. It changes because they are emotionally invested in you and your hurts matter to them. … Continue reading “Keep telling your story, please!”
And then they are nothing more than a footnote
I want to encourage those who are recent arrivals to this digital shore. It does get better. The sharp, intense emotional pain does lessen over time. Thoughts of your cheater become less and less as you heal. In fact, one day–I don’t know when it will be for you–you will wake up and spend a … Continue reading “And then they are nothing more than a footnote”
Pondering eternal destination of cheaters
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. -Hebrews 10:26-27, NIV Do I think unrepentant adulterous spouses are going to Hell? I would answer you with a question: … Continue reading “Pondering eternal destination of cheaters”