“I was afraid of your reaction. That is why I lied.” -Cheater Like a child who did wrong, a cheater sometimes feigns fear in order to avoid accountability.* They equate a righteous anger response with reason or justification to lie to the spouse they have wronged. It is not godly. It is another reason I … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid. That is why I lied to you.””
Time to take adultery seriously. God does.
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT This verse says it all. It teaches us that God viewed adultery as a marriage ending sin. How so? God required the adulterous spouse to die in light of said … Continue reading “Time to take adultery seriously. God does.”
Cheaters are all about their image
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” -Matthew 23:27, NIV Few things are more hypocritical than committing adultery while maintaining one is a “good Christian.” … Continue reading “Cheaters are all about their image”
Fascinating Resource On Religious Leader Manipulations
I enjoy listening to a variety of podcasts when I am running errands and on my work commute. One of the podcasts I enjoy is “The Roys Report.” Julie Roys founded this news outlet reporting on issues within the church. She has been involved in exposing several scandals in the Chicago area including, for example, … Continue reading “Fascinating Resource On Religious Leader Manipulations”
Today would have been our 14th anniversary
Fourteen years ago today, I married my cheater. It feels like a lifetime ago. We were young and naive. At least, I was naive. The experience of marrying a cheater took away a lot of my innocence and naivete. Honestly, it equipped me for my work today–i.e. working in a prison with manipulative individuals. God … Continue reading “Today would have been our 14th anniversary”
My mistake in re-engaging
The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “My mistake in re-engaging”
Post Divorce Dating Disclosure
When I start dating, again, following my divorce, the world had changed dramatically. Online dating was now the norm. Now, it all worked out fine for me. (I met my wife, Mrs. DM, through a popular Christian dating platform). However, I learned a few things. First, I would encourage the recently divorced to make sure … Continue reading “Post Divorce Dating Disclosure”
On Being “The Model Divorced”
“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. Maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “On Being “The Model Divorced””
Burning (or Cutting) Conviction!
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. -Hebrews 4:12, NLT Sometimes a cheater still has enough of a conscience that confrontation with Bible texts convicts them. It “burns” or … Continue reading “Burning (or Cutting) Conviction!”
“Let not your heart be troubled”–God’s Command
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. -John 14:27, KJV “Let NOT your heart be troubled…” (Emphasis mine) This is a command from Jesus. A command that implies we have a … Continue reading ““Let not your heart be troubled”–God’s Command”