The only “communication” issue needing addressing stat is the absolute , verified ending the affair. A cheater can keep a pastor and faithful spouse chasing random rabbit trails for a very long time if they are convinced the marriage issues are anything other than ending the affair. Lot of energy can be lost focusing on … Continue reading “Working on “communication””
Category: Trauma of adultery
Depart from me?!
21 “Not every one that saith unto me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? … Continue reading “Depart from me?!”
When “working on the marriage” is a barrier to godliness.
“Let’s set aside the affair for a moment. We need to work on your marriage. You each have problems you need to own.” -Pastor/Christian Counselor If a version comes out of your pastors or counselor’s mouth, it is time to find a new pastor or counselor. They are dangerously clueless. Fidelity is a bedrock for … Continue reading “When “working on the marriage” is a barrier to godliness.”
Separating Out
“My relationship with [Affair Partner] has nothing to do with our marriage problems.” -Cheater When a cheater is separating out the affair from the marriage troubles, you can be assured they are not interested in healing and restoring the marriage. They have told themselves the lie that their present marital problems are unrelated to the … Continue reading “Separating Out”
The verse does not say…
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “The verse does not say…”
Pro-Tip: She’s cheating if she considers his opinion is more important than yours.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church…. –Ephesians 5:28b-29, NIV PRO TIP: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours, then that is a clear signal that your … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: She’s cheating if she considers his opinion is more important than yours.”
It burns.
The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them [pigs].” -Mark 5:12, NIV Cheaters often do not want to face the truth. Confronted with the truth about how evil their behavior is, some choose to run away or blame the faithful spouse. The truth burns. A cheater who has … Continue reading “It burns.”
Real love means making choices.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” -John 13:34, NIV Jesus is not commanding our feelings. That would not make sense. Our emotions just are. A command implies a choice to do or not to do something. That means we have a choice–i.e. … Continue reading “Real love means making choices.”
When pastors and “Christian” counselors cheat…
For the land is full of adultery,and it lies under a curse.The land itself is in mourning—its wilderness pastures are dried up.For they all do eviland abuse what power they have. -Jeremiah 23:10,NLT When the cheater is a pastor or “Christian” counselor, it brings another layer of evil to the matter, in my opinion. Both … Continue reading “When pastors and “Christian” counselors cheat…”
Cheaters just assume…
“Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him.” -I Samuel 25:25a, NIV Cheaters just assume. They assume that you will roll over and do their bidding. Cheaters do not think we have a backbone…probably because we have allowed … Continue reading “Cheaters just assume…”