***My eBook is available still on the low price of only $4.99.*** “If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” -John 20:23, NIV If refusing to forgive someone is always a sin, how do you make sense of these words attributed to Jesus? … Continue reading “Why does it seem Jesus gives us the power to NOT forgive?!”
Category: Cheating
Calling for forgiveness or denial?
“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Calling for forgiveness or denial?”
Truth. Ugly, but truth.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.” -John 4:17b-18a, NIV What I find fascinating about this exchange is how the woman does not respond as if she was condemned. Jesus spoke a … Continue reading “Truth. Ugly, but truth.”
“Your part” questioning
The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin. – Deuteronomy 24:16, KJV “What did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” -Inquiring Christian I do not like this sort … Continue reading ““Your part” questioning”
Coming to terms…
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to terms…”
Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness”
Yesterday, I came across an interesting article about forgiveness and trauma care from a mental health provider, Anastasia Pollock, LCMHC. It is entitled: “Why I Don’t Use the Word ‘Forgiveness’ in Trauma Therapy” Pollock writes, As soon as I say, “You don’t have to forgive,” the person usually breathes a sigh of relief. Once we … Continue reading “Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness””
Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse”
Addicted to the sexual attention
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing a cheater … Continue reading “Addicted to the sexual attention”
How to avoid shipwrecking your faith!
Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. – 1 Timothy 1:18-19, … Continue reading “How to avoid shipwrecking your faith!”
Cheater-Speak: “That’s not my truth.”
“That’s not my truth! God wants me to be happy,” cries an exposed Cheater. Cheaters are big on trying to control how people perceive them. They will go through all sort of word-gymnastics to avoid the real truth. When someone dares to point out what they are doing is sin, they will twist the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “That’s not my truth.””