…the Lord told Isaiah son of Amoz, “Take off the burlap you have been wearing, and remove your sandals.” Isaiah did as he was told and walked around naked and barefoot. Then the Lord said, “My servant Isaiah has been walking around naked and barefoot for the last three years.” -Isaiah 20:2-3a, NLT To the pastor insisting … Continue reading “Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!”
Category: Cheating
Quick test of “professionals”
Question: Do you believe cheating is abuse? Anything less than an unequivocal “Yes” is a sign that this professional will attempt to blame you for the cheating. They will engage in some version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie“–namely, you are partially or fully to blame for the cheating. It is a simple test: one question. … Continue reading “Quick test of “professionals””
An “innocent party” in divorce?
Is there such thing as an “innocent party” in a divorce? Yes. I struggled with this question when fighting to retain my minister’s license years ago. Psycho-babble (and evil along with it) is winning when we cannot identify or distinguish between the innocent party and the perpetrator. Now, I understand those who say we all … Continue reading “An “innocent party” in divorce?”
You do NOT owe them agreement!
While an abusive cheater may act otherwise, he or she is NOT entitled to your agreement. They might want you to agree to a blasé narrative about why you are divorcing absent all mention of their marriage-ending sin. They might want you to agree to never bring up the cheater partner. They might want you … Continue reading “You do NOT owe them agreement!”
Once thought we were “rock solid”
Part of my blindness in my first marriage was thinking we were rock solid as a couple. Maybe you can relate? I naively believed that cheating and divorce was something that only happened to other people. It certainly wouldn’t happen to me and my marriage. That sort of thinking is what made the whole experience … Continue reading “Once thought we were “rock solid””
Had choices to make and made bad ones!
“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” -Joshua 24:15, NIV I do not buy … Continue reading “Had choices to make and made bad ones!”
Why bother?
Why bother working on a marriage where one party is treating cheating as a secondary issue? Your cheater (and anyone supporting them) is telling you how little they value your well-being when they treat the affair(s) as secondary or derivative issues to the marriage. They are deprioritizing your healing. You cannot “fix” this. The Bible … Continue reading “Why bother?”
Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!
2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. 3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, “Is … Continue reading “Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!”
Demons are “believers,” too!
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder… You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. -James 2:19, 24, NIV What if my Cheater claims to be a Christian?! They can claim that identity all they want. Demons believe in … Continue reading “Demons are “believers,” too!”
Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk”