Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, KJV When pastors and counselors focus on the faithful spouse’s “faults,” they are minimizing the cheating and the seriousness of this sin. This is why … Continue reading “Professionals Minimizing Cheating”
Category: Sin
Not friends with ex-wife
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “Not friends with ex-wife”
Harming and then blaming you!
“You made me do this!” cries Cheater. One of the many painful aspects of dealing with a cheater is how they frame their cheating abuse. Some of this cruel individuals will blame the victim while they harm them. They might blame them for choosing to abandon them as if the faithful spouse had a say. … Continue reading “Harming and then blaming you!”
Early Awful Discovery Days
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. -Job 2:12, NIV The early days of infidelity discovery are awful! I want to encourage you if you find yourself in this part of the horror show. It does get better! … Continue reading “Early Awful Discovery Days”
Divorced in heart?!
Cheater: “I had an emotional affair, but I sorted it all with my individual therapist and am fine. The problem is my spouse.” Pastoral Care Provider: “Spouse, don’t you see you’ve divorced them in your heart?!” If you experience something like this, find another pastoral care provider. They are not giving godly advice. The provider … Continue reading “Divorced in heart?!”
Adultery is truly evil
“If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such EVIL.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT (emphasis mine) What Christians need to understand is that adultery is truly evil! This is not “second fiddle” to divorce. Adultery is the main event in the evil … Continue reading “Adultery is truly evil”
Dear Younger Self
Dear 30 Year Old Self, It is going to be alright. Really, it is. I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak. Trust me: It gets better, much better! The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It … Continue reading “Dear Younger Self”
So Arrogant!
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. -Proverbs 26:12, NKJV Probably, the most spiritually deadly sin is arrogance. Cheaters are marked by oodles and oodles of pride and arrogance. It takes quite a bit of arrogance to cheat on your spouse and still think you … Continue reading “So Arrogant!”
Flee Sexual Sin!
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Flee sexual sin! This is something not often taught upon when it comes to adultery, which qualifies as sexual immorality. The command to flee from this sort of sin … Continue reading “Flee Sexual Sin!”
Obliterating tide
Infidelity is like the incoming tide to your sand castle marriage. It obliterates all the hard work done to create a beautiful relationship. It undermines everything. Then it washes it all away like it was never there. Such is marital infidelity. Whether the sand castle was already falling down or whether it was a “Taj … Continue reading “Obliterating tide”