With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. -Acts 5:2, NIV Cheaters predictably provide incomplete confessions. This is a major reason why it is so had for faithful spouses to heal as they are working with deliberately withheld information. … Continue reading “Predictably Incomplete”
Category: Sin
Dreams Die So Others May Rise
And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, “For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him [Joseph].” -Genesis 37:35, KJV Giving up the dreams regarding your marriage are tough. I had … Continue reading “Dreams Die So Others May Rise”
Not Punishment or Piling On
2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. -I Timothy 3:2-3, NIV When a secular teacher violates trust and is convicted of abusing a minor, they are FOREVER banned from a teaching license. This secular requirement … Continue reading “Not Punishment or Piling On”
Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case
Bethel Church of Redding, California is currently embroiled in a leadership scandal. Once their poster child for a restored leader following moral failure, Ben Armstrong (BA), is back in the spotlight for alleged lies and Clergy Sexual Abuse allegations. To Bethel Church’s credit, they have put Ben Armstrong on administrative leave as they investigate these … Continue reading “Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case”
Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.”
Shake the dust
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shake the dust”
Do NOT date while still married, please!
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT When I was dating after my divorce, I was somewhat surprised by how many people were dating still married. For me, those people were a hard pass. … Continue reading “Do NOT date while still married, please!”
Mailbag: What do you do with this?
Dear DM, What do you do with this? I came here tonight because I am desperate. As I get closer to God I realize that doesn’t guarantee an answer about what I am supposed to do. My husband acts as if we’re fine everything is fine but it’s almost INSANE. What is your problem, “why … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do you do with this?”
Helpful Resource Exposing Poor Responses To Affairs
If we hear someone murdered, we don’t say, “it could have been me.” If we hear someone robbed a bank, we don’t hear pastors say, “it could have been me.” But when it comes to cheating on your wife? Oh, yeah, that could have been me. -Sheila Wray Gregoire, “The Terrible Takes on Philip Yancey’s … Continue reading “Helpful Resource Exposing Poor Responses To Affairs”
Guilt, not shame
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Guilt, not shame”