“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Calling for forgiveness or denial?”
Truth. Ugly, but truth.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.” -John 4:17b-18a, NIV What I find fascinating about this exchange is how the woman does not respond as if she was condemned. Jesus spoke a … Continue reading “Truth. Ugly, but truth.”
Yet she still claims to be a Christian.
Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. I Corinthians 7:15, NASB When a partner is abusive and leaves or forces a faithful partner to separate, is a divorce an option for the abused partner … Continue reading “Yet she still claims to be a Christian.”
“Your part” questioning
The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin. – Deuteronomy 24:16, KJV “What did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” -Inquiring Christian I do not like this sort … Continue reading ““Your part” questioning”
Coming to terms…
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to terms…”
Second marriage is better than first!
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV Christians are terrible as far as how they attempt to manipulate faithful spouses into staying married to unrepentant cheaters. I can think of several spiritually abusive moves that faithful spouses endure in various Christian communities who take a dim or … Continue reading “Second marriage is better than first!”
Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness”
Yesterday, I came across an interesting article about forgiveness and trauma care from a mental health provider, Anastasia Pollock, LCMHC. It is entitled: “Why I Don’t Use the Word ‘Forgiveness’ in Trauma Therapy” Pollock writes, As soon as I say, “You don’t have to forgive,” the person usually breathes a sigh of relief. Once we … Continue reading “Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness””
Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse”
Addicted to the sexual attention
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing a cheater … Continue reading “Addicted to the sexual attention”
How to avoid shipwrecking your faith!
Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. – 1 Timothy 1:18-19, … Continue reading “How to avoid shipwrecking your faith!”