“Telling him (about the affair) would be selfish. That would ruin our marriage.” – Cheater What a twisted lie people tell themselves and others! Think if we applied this lie to a different situation: Someone embezzles tens of thousands from your friend’s retirement account. They are a “good” criminal and know how to hide … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Telling him (about the affair) would be selfish.””
Clueless Christian: What did you learn from that?
“I’ll tell you by what authority I do these things if you answer one question,” Jesus replied. -Mark 11:29, NLT “What did you learn about yourself from your divorce?” – Clueless Christian (asking Faithful Spouse) Context matters. I have no problem asking honest questions coming from a humble or genuine place of interest. What I … Continue reading “Clueless Christian: What did you learn from that?”
Not Blaming: Who does it benefit?
Not Blaming: Who does it benefit? I would argue refusing to assign blame in a situation with marital infidelity “benefits” the cheater. They get to be treated as if what happened was either a shared problem or an unfortunate event (both lies, by the way). In other words, they get to avoid taking responsibility for … Continue reading “Not Blaming: Who does it benefit?”
Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!”
In defense of blaming
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV Secular and–sadly–some “Christian” circles have a tendency to talk about divorce as devoid of blame. It is … Continue reading “In defense of blaming”
THAT “Christian”
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. -I John 3:18, NIV There is a type. Something was “off” with him. Sure, this person had all the appearances of righteous Christian. He talked about “grace” and “repentance.” Yet something did not “square.” His words and actions, ultimately, did … Continue reading “THAT “Christian””
Why I focus on adultery on Divorce Minister
With so many divorces happening via “no fault” divorce laws today, it might seem strange to focus on adultery when talking about divorce. I take this objection or concern as an opportunity to explain my blog’s focus and reasoning behind it: 1. I focus on divorce and adultery because that is how Jesus approached the subject … Continue reading “Why I focus on adultery on Divorce Minister”
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Changed cheater appearance for the charade
So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. -Proverbs 6:29, NIV Did you ever notice how your cheater changed their appearance when they were cheating? Maybe your cheater got glasses–even though, he or she does not need them medically? Maybe your cheater suddenly became a fitness nut … Continue reading “Changed cheater appearance for the charade”
“How long, O Lord?!” cries the oppressed.
How long will my enemy triumph over me? -Psalm 13:2b, NIV When enduring the many injustices of marriage infidelity discovery, this is a common refrain of the heart. Life is very unfair. It seems like the cheater is “getting away with it.” The cheater seems so happy. They are get the thrills and you are … Continue reading ““How long, O Lord?!” cries the oppressed.”